Saturday, July 25, 2009

Depression rears its ugly head

Well, I was out on the beach with my friend and his friend today, but have been so tired the whole day.  I was wondering if it’s an oncoming period, my cycle was a bit off at one point, like last month.  

Anyway, I felt pretty shit on the way home, I was walking to my building, and then I thought, “same fucking grey building with the same skyline, how long am I going to see this for?”

Bf was feeling shit too, so didn’t see him today, and then I also thought, well I’m so tired now, I don’t think I want to go there anyway.  Then I’m thinking “I’m so tired, if I sleep now, how am I going to sleep tonight?”

 

Getting back into my apartment, I had a brief moment of happiness and peace when I saw the way the sun shone on the window sill, and it looked very idyllic and calm.  And I thought, its wonderful to be home.

Already on the way back I was just thinking about staying at home the whole week now that I have all my groceries.  It was actually one of the recommendations in the books I was reading, to just let got and get away from everything, I think probably “How to beat depression and reclaim your life”.

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